Wifey...

There is no need to worry I will be okay.

I am sorry that in my haste, I was not able to tell you how much I really love you.

I tried but the words got caught up, my voice broke, and I fought the tears from falling.

That is not how I want you to remember me. I smiled for you, I did it, somehow I knew what you were going to say, but I came anyway. I’m a fool, but the price was far greater than what I was about to experience.

When you finally said it, I felt the familiar pain of losing you once more; it was just like the day you left, when we said our goodbyes and made our promises.

The promises that we never kept, that faded away in the dust.

The goodbyes that became permanent.

The only difference is, it is now final.

There was a moment, right after you said what you came to say, when you caught me staring at you, and then I had to force a smile.

At that time, I remembered all the beautiful time I have spent with you. The warm hugs and the sweet kisses. How much I enjoyed spoiling you. I remember the dreams that we have planned for both of us, you in a white dress walking down the aisle towards me-that would have been the happiest day of my life, the daughter that looked just like you, a lifetime dedicated to prove my love for you, your voice of assurance in a soft whisper, telling me that you will come back to me no matter what.

I remembered it all in a flash, all at once; I saw all the memories that made me whole, that fueled me to go on with life.

The very same things that I will never ever experience, or have, because even though you came back, it is only to say your final goodbye.

It is painful yes, but you are not to blame, I had a choice, and I made a decision. I could have walked away when you were late to avoid experiencing the feeling of being crushed but I decided to stay.

And I would do it again without any hesitation; I would brave a thousand goodbyes, just to have the chance to see you one last time. To see the smile that melted my heart, and those lovely eyes that could see through the bones of my soul. To feel your last embrace that is like a drug that makes me feel nothing else matters than that moment when I had you in my arms.

I should have kissed you. I should have kissed you. I should have kissed you.

If only to feel softness of your lips one last time, the only kiss that touches my heart every time it happened. The sweetest kiss that kindled the will of my spirit.

I should have held your hand when I brought you to the taxi stand. To let you experience my love, through the sparks that flew out of my finger tips, one last time.

I sound pathetic I know, buts it’s a small price to pay to be able to spend some time with the person who owned your heart.

Although, I have failed to say all of this last night, I know that you know how much I feel for you.

I used to show you every day. Do you still remember?

My love you for you is:

Much, Much, Much bigger than both my hands stretched out widely

Deeper than the deepest ocean

More than the number of raindrops in a storm

Far more than the stars in the Skies

More than you love me

More than I love myself

Despite your decision and everything that has happened, my feeling for you has not changed. Maybe it never will.

But I am powerless.

Because you want to move on and as much as I want to share my lifetime with you, I know that you will only truly be happy if I let you go.

So be free my love, live well…

I know that you love me too, but I understand why you have to listen to the little voice at the back of your head telling you it will never work. Maybe they are right. I get it, you have your life to live, and right now it does not allow me to be part of it.

It is enough for me to know that you will find your happiness. That was all I ever wanted for you.

You will reach your goals… You will keep on living your dreams…

Forget the bad things that have happened to both of us, that only happened because of circumstances beyond our control.

They will not happen to you again.

I promise you that.

You are a good person. The angels will guard over you.

You make your parents proud, I know so.

Because nobody can be more proud than I am of you, at what you have accomplished so far. You are ahead of everybody else, even me.

Take care always.

I love you and only you.

I will be fine just promise me that you will always stay safe.

Goodbye Wifey…