but one dream

When I was young I used to have a lot of dreams.

I dreampt of becoming rich

finding the perfect woman

be the best in my chosen field

buy a Car

Own a House

travel abroad

Have my own farm

So I worked hard and I found out that it took a lot to make my dreams come true.

Then you came along and I was happy, I have met the perfect woman.

I became more driven, and felt that it was easier for me to move to the direction I wanted to go because a part of my list was crossed out.

I would stare at you for hours my lucky charm, I used to tell myself.

Goodtimes!

Just when everything went well problems came one by one, to make matters worst you had to leave. I tried to stop you, but was not able to.

We both tried our best I know that, there came a point that I had to choose, you or my other dreams and because I was stupid I did not choose, I refused to... I kept changing the topic, biggest mistake of my life.

It was then that I lost appetite for life... I ceased to care. Day by day, I forgot my plans, my dreams crushed with my bitter fate, reality was stuck at the core of my brain at that point not even a surgeon could have removed it.

I was down, I was hurt, not food, not alcohol, not drugs, nothing could make the pain go away.

So, I died.

Maybe not, died died, but it felt worst than dying.

The pain was unbearable, I sometimes had to do things to myself to divert the pain. I did not like it. So I tried seeking the comfort of self pity, denial and anger. Sometimes I would go for understanding, then guilt it was a crazy loop. I was crazy, I might have had a breakdown at that time.

It took more than a year before I regained proper sleep.

In my own way, I tried to fight the depression. Eventually I managed to exist, to survive, but nothing I did made me feel the happiness that I felt when I was with you.

I was like a robot, I commanded myself to go to work, to eat, to sleep to stop thinking.

A few more years went by, the Gods may have seem my sufferings because we started talking again, and met, and fought and met and fought again.

By this time, I learned a neat trick I knew how to numb my heart so that it wont feel the pain. I was also able to separate my personal life and work, so I was working in automatic.

Then on a happy day, we reconnected.

And by default, everything seemed to automatically feel good, even the water seemed to taste better.

My days were filled with smiles, smooth sailing and happy.

And then another conflict.

But its okay cause now I know that these obstacles will not ruin us this time if we do not let them. It will be up to us, its our decision.

I know everything will be okay. I have been through the worst and survived.

We survived.

Experience has shown me which dream I should keep.

And that is you.

Its only with you that I am happy.

Its only with you that I feel good when good things come my way.

Without you success tastes like sand in my mouth.

I was right, you are my lucky charm, because you make me want to be a better man.

So I strive and strive and before I know it, I realize my other dreams.

Your the one dream that will make all my other dreams come true.

I will fight for you to be in my life I will not stop I will not give up...

You are my compass, without you I will be lost...

I have no regrets, if I were given a chance to go back I go through it again, I will endure the pain.

You are worth every tear.

Now I understand it, I can see it clearly, I could not live life without you after all, no man would survive without his heart.

I love you, you and only you.